An Affair (Plus Four) to Remember

Kristen Tenney is a great influence on me.  Below is an example of said influence.

Junior year of high school, Kristen and I realized that since we were such good friends, it would be cool if we were related to each other someday.  Unfortunately, her brother is six years younger than I am, and my brother is 11 years younger than she is.  Therefore, not wanting to rob the cradle, marrying the other one's brother was not an option.  But, never fear, we came up with a new plan!  She will have 5 boys, and I will have 5 girls.  But I will start having my girls two years after Kristen starts having her boys, and we will be next-door neighbors, and our children will be childhood sweethearts and wed each other.  Then the idea of deciding on names for our children (to make sure they sound cute together) was concocted.  We started thinking of couples whose names go well together.  This is what children we are at heart:  the names we thought of were Pocahontas/John-Smith (you can't have his first name be John and his middle name be Smith because when the teacher calls roll, she will just say, "John?"  And he will say, "It's John Smith."  And she will not believe him, and John-Smith will be depressed. But don't worry, the hyphen is silent.), Aurora/Prince-Phillip (again, the hyphen is silent), Belle/The-Beast (you get the idea), Cinderella/Prince-Charming, and Ariel/Prince-Eric.  What great lives we had planned!
Well, last Thursday I had a lovely chat with my love, Kristen, again.  We were reminiscing this lovely lunch experience, when I told Kristen that we needed to change a few things about our plans.  First, I told her that I decided I wanted a boy, twin girls, a boy, another boy, and then a girl.  That way she could have some girls. It's only fair. So she would have a girl, twin boys, a girl, another girl, and then a boy.  She said, "You're making me have twin boys?"
I said, "That's the idea!"
She then realized that we needed to figure out more names.  We were now having six kids, but we only had five names.  She said she wanted Rapunzel.  Which would leave me with Eugene.  I told her if I have to have a Eugene in exchange for her having twin boys, this should make things fair.  Then we remembered all of the other boys had hyphens.  I had to have a Eugene-Fitzherbert.  Now it was fair.
More names were discussed, and we wound up having Pocahontas/John-Smith, Aurora/Prince-Phillip, Ariel/Prince-Eric, Tiana/Prince-Naveen, Cinderella/Prince-Charming, Jasmine/Aladdin, Belle/The-Beast, Mulan/Shang, Odette/Prince-Derek, Thumbelina/Prince-Cornelius, Giselle/Robert, Meg/Hercules, Snow-White/Prince-Charming (it might be confusing having two Prince-Charmings, but don't you think that's the least of our concerns at this point?), Anastasia/Dimitri, and Sam-Sparks/Flint-Lockwood.  That's right; we are having 15 children.  Each.

Greeting all of her siblings

Another girl

Proof that Thumbelina and Prince-Cornelius are MFEO

Here is one of our girls

1 of our girls

She looks just like me!

 

7 (almost half) of our girls

Pocahontas

Odette

But who wants to be pregnant 15 times? Not me. Being pregnant five times would be much nicer...  Wait!  15 divided by 3 is 5!! Oh yes!! If we have 5 sets of triplets, life will be much simpler.
As if that is not cool enough.  Oh, no.  Then we thought it would be cool if each specific child was the nationality correlated with his/her name.  We will need a Native American for Pocahontas, a guy who works at Sea World for Ariel, an African for Tiana, a Brazilian for Prince-Naveen, an Arab for Jasamine, an Arab for Aladdin, a vet for The-Beast, a Chinese guy for Mulan, and another one for Shang.  Basically, we each have to have at least 5 affairs.  No big deal.
Hopefully our future husbands don't mind.

Where Do You Get Off?

Yesterday, Missy told me that I needed to check out Adam Young's response to Taylor Swift's song "Enchanted."  She told me that his song was incredible; it had embellishments, was in a new key, and he inserted her name in various places.  She then expressed her extreme disdain with Taylor for not doing anything about such a cute act of love. I promised her I would go home and look it up.
So I did.
Oh my heck. say that in a hick accent for maximum effect  Seriously, Taylor? What are you thinking? I know that leaving Adam for Taylor Lautner may have been driven by Taylor L.'s gazillion abdomen muscles,

 <---example

 but, as you said in your song "Hey, Stephen," sure, those other guys are attractive and famous and whatever, "but would they write a song for you?"
As I considered these thoughts, I became even more frustrated with Taylor Swift. Not only did he write this response over six months ago (and she hasn't so much as tweeted about it), but she has dated two other guys in the meantime! That's just rude.
I saw Missy later today and told her that I had viewed the video.  I then shared my opinions.  Missy said that if Adam Young's version and Taylor Swift's version were to be combined, turning the song into a duet, everyone would want it as his/her wedding song. We then noted that in order for Adam we didn't even want Taylor to sing the girl part at this point; we were rather wroth towards her lack of relationship skills to consider this song seriously, and not just toss the letter in his pile of other "crazed fan" mail, we would have to arrange the song, get people to sing it, and put it on a CD.  This step would be a piece of cake.

piece of cake

At least with the arrangement and sheet music being sent to him, we would be genius crazed fans.  We've just moved up on the totem pole!
Missy then remembered that her Dad was really good friends with Bogart Michaels (aka "Bogie"), a guy who is a ton of celebrities' hair dresser.  If Bogie didn't know Adam personally, he probably had connections with someone who did. We had an 'in!'

big yellow school bus

Suddenly, an idea hit me like a big yellow school bus.
This was probably the best idea I've ever had.  I shouted, "One of us needs to get cancer!"  Missy almost fell over laughing.  I continued, "Or we could befriend someone who has cancer! You see, if we could convince this person to make their wish to the Make-A-Wish Foundation to meet Adam Young, then we could go with this new friend and present our idea in person!" This plan seemed perfectly logical.
A few minutes later, Missy was struck with inspiration.  "I know why Taylor Swift is so bad at relationships!" she said. "She's still in love with Joe Jonas! That's why she has another song about him on her most recent album. And that's why she keeps being dumb with each new boy; she still doesn't have closure from Joe Jonas."
I had a slight change of heart.  Although I was still frustrated with Taylor Swift's lack of decency in the situation, I started to understand a little more why she was so bad at relationships as of late.
The need for Missy and me to have two cancer-inflicted friends presented itself. Not only did we have a CD to give to Adam Young, but we also had to ask Joe how he really felt about Taylor Swift. Then we realized that the grand total of Make-A-Wish candidates we needed to become friends with was 3.

After asking Joe Jonas what his intentions were with T. Swift, we would need to have a word (or more) with Taylor S. to help her gain closure so that she and Adam can get back together.

I guess I'm visiting the cancer ward at the hospital soon...   

Four pages about Ryan Reynolds?

At age 5, girls want a husband who is also a prince.  He must be tall, have an incredible horse, and be able to sing any song, on any topic, on cue.  

At age 10, she wants a boy who won’t make her watch that maturation movie ever again.  At age 13, she just wants a boy with legs who doesn’t fart every time she walks into the room.  By age 15, she has changed her list of desirable qualities in a husband yet again.  This time she would like a tan guy with a six pack who is incredibly wealthy and has an accent.  The celebrities she passes as acceptable suitors are often found hanging in her locker.  

In case you didn't know, Ryan Reynolds is totally my celebrity crush.  Sorry, Manders, but you can have Orlando Bloom. ;cD Oh, and p.s., no celebrity was ever hanging in my locker. Unless you consider Winnie the Pooh, or any of the Disney princesses celebrities. 

By the time it is actually time to start picking out spouses a few years later, girls typically have NO idea what they actually want! 

                When I was in 9^th grade, one of our teachers made us all make lists.  After the first four (RM, makes me laugh, no swearing, wants a lot of kids), I put down things that any stereotypical 14 year old girl would have wanted.  I have since lost that list.  Thank heavens I lost it for the sake of my dignity (not that I had a lot anyway).

                I got to thinking about these things when I had to write the next paper for my Marriage and Family Relations class.  He wanted us to write a FOUR PAGE PAPER on the qualities we are seeking in a mate.  I am struggling writing a one page paper, people.  I suppose that I will have to ramble in a classy manner about each quality that is important to me.  If any of my lovely four followers have any ideas about how to make this paper longer, please advise below. :]

The Best Topic for Church. Ever.

Last Sunday, my cute roommate, Kaylee, gave a talk in church that was excellent!  After sacrament meeting let out, the part of our club who is always our club went to congratulate Kaylee on her talk. (Last night, we named our club - the Kaylee, Stephanie, Whitney, Amanda, Ben, and Sometimes Rylan Club, I turned it into an acronym (KSWABSRC).  Acronyms make everything cooler.  It is pronounced Kay-Swab-Sirk.  Cool, eh?)  While we were congratulating her on her talk, I mentioned how I hadn't given a talk in sacrament meeting since I graduated high school.  The second counselor overheard, and, needless to say, I am giving a talk on Sunday.
He didn't give me a topic.  He told me just to make sure it was a church-appropriate topic.  So, I guess discussing politics is out of the question.  I was discussing my predicament with my colleagues at work on Monday, and Amanda also pointed out that I couldn't talk about work.  We were scrubbing showers at the time.  I said that I actually could talk about work.  I pointed out that I could turn it into an object lesson; I could liken cleaning showers to repentance.  You see, you are technically supposed to wipe out the shower everyday when you are done showering.  If you keep cleaning the shower at least once a week with the chemicals, keeping the shower clean isn't too hard.  However, if you start slacking off, you will eventually have to get out the razor and start scraping.  Sometimes, it gets so bad, you have to get the maintenance people to try to fix it.  Sin is like that, too.  If you repent everyday, repentance isn't too bad.  If you continue to take the sacrament every week, you can really keep on top of things.  However, if you slack off, the repentance process is hard.  The process may be painful, difficult, and even cause you to want to give up.  Sometimes, things need to be resolved with a higher power.
Then I realized that any scenario could be used in a sacrament meeting talk.  After all, all things bear record of  Him.  I am almost positive that is a quote from something church-related.  Since I do not know where it is, I cannot properly cite the source.  But don't worry.  I am not going to get up in sacrament meeting and talk about cleaning showers for ten minutes.  I have a much better topic in mind.
Unfortunately, I may not be able to give this excellent talk!  The Apocalypse starts in an hour and a half!  Therefore, farewell, blogging world.  See you all in heaven!  But, if that clever man who figured out the world ends tomorrow is wrong, then you will be hearing from me again.  So, you just have to suffer through these excellent posts awhile longer.  

Biology and World War II? Not the Same Thing

Being that it is spring (and finally starting to show signs of such), it would seem as though everyone is twitter-pated right now.  For some, the twitter-pation comes from the realization that if they are going to get married this year, they better get cracking before all the girls leave for the summer.  For others, it is simply the same magical feeling in the air that captured the hearts of a deer, a rabbit, and a skunk.  Although SUU students aren't as drastic as the following picture (based on my observations. People very well could be this twitter-pated on random floors of the library, or in elevator shafts. But as far as just walking on the sidewalks goes, I have yet to see this scene),

seeing young people head over heals is not a bizarre sighting.  As a side note, seeing a young girl playing with her boyfriend's ear(s) as he relaxes on a tree root is out of the ordinary.

What is more common is a scene like this:

or this: 

However, this blog post is not about PDAs. This is about what happens after the initial twitter-pation, and the couple must say, "Farewell, my love," to one another.  

Although saying, "See you in 50 minutes!" should suffice between classes, couples do not simply say that phrase to one another.  In my recent observations, couples say, "Oh! *sob sob sob* Will we ever see each other again?  What if the Nazis shoot you? Oh, my dear, dear love! I don't know what I will do if you don't return!"  Honestly, what is the worse thing that could happen?  Your one true love gets a paper cut? That's why bandages were invented, people.  Sending your beloved to biology class is not the same as sending your lover halfway around the world to shoot Nazis, the VietCong, or Al Qaeda. 

Therefore, high-five your sweetheart, and get to class.  Somehow life will go on.  Then again, I have never been in love.  Perhaps if I ever do experience this feeling I may understand what makes a departure to class so problematic.  Until then, I stand by my thoughts on the powers of a high-five.

The Only Laker I Like Is a Salt Laker

A few years ago, my sister was a Jazz dancer! She is the gorgeous one in this picture! 

In case you need further help identifying her, she is the blonde second from the right on the back row.

When she was a Jazz dancer, she could get my family tickets to the games! I went with my dad. They were so fun! But, being that tickets are so expensive, I thought that that would be my only chance. However, one of the suppliers at my dad's work gave away four Jazz tickets for a game over spring break! I, of course, wanted to go! So, my mom, dad, Toby, and I went to the jazz game! 

 

Toby was pretty excited; this was his first Jazz game! 

But, the drive was a long one. 

So I comforted him. 

When we got there, we realized how great these seats really were! They were in the lower bowl! This was our view! The other great thing about this game?! We won!!! This, the aspect of being at a sporting event, and our amazing view made Toby smile!

_______________________________________________________________________

This past weekend was General Conference. Since I didn't go home for October's conference, and my cute neighbor, Sara, needed a ride, I decided to go home.  After working our way through a horrible traffic accident, and realizing there was still a horrible traffic jam, we got off the freeway and I found my way home from Springville on back roads. I was so proud of myself! But, anyway, when I got home, my mom told me that the supplier had left four more Jazz tickets! Since none of my sisters (except Melisa) wanted to go, they inquired if I wanted to go again. I told my mom, "Of course!" I didn't have time to change, so I wore my awesome U of U t-shirt to the game. Wrong league, but that's okay! 

However, I did sport my new Miley Cyrus shoes, so that made it all better!

 

This is my beautiful sister who sat by me at the Jazz/Laker game:

Melisa posing while my Dad looks distinguished.

Practicing our puffer-fish faces before the game.

We were winning at half-time, so we celebrated with popcorn.

But, at the end, we lost. 

These seats weren't quite as good as the last game (they were in the upper bowl), but they were still free and still not that bad. AND, guess who was sitting just two rows in front of us? This fabulous couple!

You can see my dad (green shirt), mom (purple shirt, emotional that the Jazz were losing), and sister (scratching her ear) in the background. My head is hidden by the lady in the purple floral (?) shirt with the scowl.

It was great to see them again! Mitch and Whitney, that is. The lady with the scowl was not that pleasant to sit behind. 

The game was seriously so much fun! I am so so so glad I had a chance to go! We may have lost, but the Lakers did us a favor by beating us. You see, now we have a better lottery pick! So ha! 

Disclaimer: Even though I said the only Laker I like is a Salt Laker, I do still like Mitch. One day he will see the light and convert. :cD

The Last Melon

No, this is not about Ice Age. But I do happen to love that movie! This is about how this weekend I went home to witness the last of my siblings get baptized.  Yes, Toby is 8 now! I sound like such an old person when I say, "It seems like yesterday when I was carrying him in my arms, and everyone would be pinching his cheeks as I tried to walk!" (He had the chubbiest cheeks!) And I also feel even older when I realize it was TWELVE YEARS AGO that I was baptized! 

Here is a picture of me and my little Big Bangs. Yes, I had Big Bangs.    

  

And here is my little brother on Saturday. 

But, now he is a little 8 year old and baptized! 

His baptism was kind of similar to mine.  All my other sisters had ward baptisms.  But we were still living in Sandy when I was baptized, so I had a stake baptism.  Toby didn't have a stake baptism, but there were so many kids from our ward getting baptized that day, they treated it as such!  

We were all in the chapel gathered together at the start.  There were enough guests for a sacrament meeting (on a snowy day)! We had the baptism talk, the Holy Ghost talk, a few words from the bishop, and a musical number (sung by my very talented sister, Michelle (who I am very excited to have join me here in Cedar next year!!!!)).  Then the bishop excused the first family.  Then I played a musical number.  I performed "We'll Bring the World His Truth" on the piano.  I messed up a little bit, but I concluded and ended well, and that is all that anyone remembers at the end of the day. 

Then our family was excused to witness Toby's baptism!  The spirit was so strong!  Then we went into a neighboring room to wait for my dad and Toby to get dressed.  We waited.  Then they came in, and we witnessed the confirmation! It was so incredible! Then my relatives came over to my house (except the ones who were sick. I feel so bad for everyone who's gotten whatever it was! I know I didn't enjoy life when it came my way!) for sandwiches, a veggie tray, socializing, and cookies.  What an incredible day! 

My Aunt Lorraine commented that since that was the last baptism, the next thing was weddings.  NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!! Hopefully that was subtle enough.